


definitely (not) superheroes

by teamleov



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Gen, Lila isn't here, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s03 Miracle Queen (The Battle of the Miraculous Part 2), alya is suspicious, chat noir is a furry, chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27462109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamleov/pseuds/teamleov
Summary: Ladybug decides to open a server.
Relationships: Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	1. we all want to deck cn's papa in the face

Server name: definitely (not) superheroes

#general-chat

Ladybug just arrived. Seems OP - please nerf.  
Chat Noir just joined the server - glhf!  
Welcome Rena Rouge. Leave your weapons by the door.  
Carapace just slid into the server.  
Ermagherd. Queen Bee is here.

Ladybug: what’s up!

Rena Rouge: why do the welcome messages fit so well

Chat Noir: Well good evening, M’lady! What’s this for?

Carapace: yo lb

Rena Rouge: hi ladybug! what chat said

Queen Bee: chat stop typing like someone sending an email to their boss  
Queen Bee: anyway hi LB

Chat Noir: … Queenie you didn’t have to do me like that, and ok

Ladybug: i thought we might need somewhere to chat for small and big things like akuma alert or theories on whoever hawkmonth might be

Rena Rouge: hawkmonth

Carapace: hawkmonth

Queen Bee: hawkmonth

Chat Noir: hawkmonth

Ladybug: damn it, i meant hawkmoth  
Ladybug: things like that and for team bonding  
Ladybug: some rules though: no things that might lead to your identity (though we all know qb's), no inappropriate stuff (i know we’re teens but we can stop the horny from seeping into here), keep this server as hidden as possible so we won’t get found out

Carapace: seems cool

Chat Noir: okay

Rena Rouge: i don’t think these nicknames are particularly unsuspicious, lets change them up

Queen Bee: yeah what rena said

Ladybug: go for it

Ladybug’s name has been changed to: team leader by Rena Rouge

team leader: why me

Rena Rouge: ‘cause you give the best pep talks and is kinda the main guy round here  
Rena Rouge: and because you’re kinda in the middle of the harem  
Rena Rouge: except for carapace ofc he only loves me

Carapace: true

team leader: fair

Chat Noir’s name has been changed to: team furry by Rena Rouge

team furry: excuse you rena i am not a furry

Queen Bee: yes you are

team furry: this joke comes up in almost all the chat fics  
team furry: haha chat

team leader: what

Carapace: what

Queen Bee: what

Carapace’s name has been changed to: team teenage mutant ninja turtle by Rena Rouge

team teenage mutant ninja turtle: babe i think this is too long

Rena Rouge: yeah it kinda is

team teenage mutant ninja turtle: hold on

team teenage mutant ninja turtle’s name has been changed to: team cool guy by team teenage mutant ninja turtle

team furry: i’m??? also a??? cool??? guy??? 

team cool guy: yeah but you’re first and foremost also the team furry so yeah

team furry: fair

Rena Rouge’s name has been changed to: team trixxster by Rena Rouge

team leader: is that… a pun  
team furry: yeah i think it is, but what for?

team leader: oh it’s the name of her kwami

team trixxster: heh yeah  
team trixxster: do i get the cn seal of approval

team furry: yeah you bet you do

Queen Bee’s name has been changed to: team stunning girl by Rena Rouge

team stunning girl: aww thanks rena  
team stunning girl: did you have to pun mine too  
team stunning girl: though that was a bit of a stretch i'll accept it

team trixxster: i mean why not  
team trixxster: now we all match

team furry: why do you get puns for nicknames and i get called out

team cool guy: and he confirms it

team leader: kitty purrs when i scratch his nape i can confirm it too

team furry: bugaboo why

team leader: because you are

team cool guy: wait i did not actually expect for that to happen  
team cool guy: though you do dress up in magic leather

team trixxster: kinky

team cool guy: babe no

team stunning girl: babe yes  
team stunning girl: wait

team cool guy: wait

team trixxster: ANYWAY

team furry: rena it’s night don’t scream  
team furry: but as long as it’s with carapace then that’s free game

team leader: chat

team trixxster: chat

team furry: > chat @team leader SORRY M’LADY  
team furry: > chat @team trixxster i have no regrets

team stunning girl: see the favoritism

team furry: > @team trixxster i have no regrets @team furry see

team stunning girl: fair

team leader: haev y'all had dinner yet

team cool guy: what should i comment on  
team cool guy: haev or y'all

team trixxster: lb are you american

team leader: if i'm not does that mean i american't say y'all? also identities

team furry: MY LADY

team stunning girl: here comes the duo, chatting up some puns  
team stunning girl: wait

team furry: don't worry queenie you can bee a punmaster with us too

team leader: chat  
team leader: have you had a good dinner

team furry: of course my lady! :)

team leader: Chat Noir. 

team furry: yes…  
team furry: alright, no

team leader: alright when we reveal our identities i swear i will barge in your house myself and deck your father straight in the face

team cool guy: wow, is his father that bad? i swear if he's also hawkmoth

team trixxster: if he's that bad i am very tempted to join in

team stunning girl: we're supposed to be role models  
team stunning girl: although i won't refuse when someone asks me to

team furry: no he's not hawkmoth i'm sure  
team furry: yeah he's that bad… i guess? i mean he constantly tells me he'll eat dinner with me and bail, constantly isolates me from my friends, but he also puts a roof over my head  
team furry: plus he's my sperm donor

team cool guy: i have a bro like that too

team trixxster: yeah he also has a pretty shitty homelife

team cool guy: your father, his father and hawkmoth are the three people on top of my "who to deck" list

team trixxster: i wonder how he's doing now though  
team trixxster: anyway friendly reminder that is not a guess, that is fact, and fuck your father

team stunning girl: rena languange  
team stunning girl: anyway since y'all already know who i am, maybe the 5 of us could have dinner together sometime? around 7 pm maybe if daddy lets me  
team stunning girl: i realize saying daddy over text is weird

team furry: y'all  
team furry: i'm definitely available anytime for the foreseeable future

team cool guy: bug words

team trixxster: bug

team stunning girl: bug

team leader: bug

team cool guy: big dammit

team furry: bugaboo

team leader: chat, no

team trixxster: lb do you actually like it or hate it

team leader: i've been Tolerating it

team stunning girl: wow she capitalized it  
team stunning girl: anyway are you available tomorrow 8 pm

team trixxster: wow chloe when did you ask fro permissiom that ffast.  
team trixxster: *for permission *fast

team furry: how do you type so ffast

team stunning girl: guys 

team cool guy: yeah i think

team trixxster: yeah i asked my mom if i can go, she thinks i'm meeting up with you guys  
team trixxster: not that she knows my superhero shenanigans, but like on an interview or smthn

team stunning girl: that's great! lasybug? 

team leader: lasybug  
team leader: yeah, though i'll probably head home early cause homework

team furry: thanks guys ly all but mostly my bugaboo

team stunning girl: yay! chat finally has dinner with friends  
team stunning girl: wait did you actually have dinner with friendS before

team furry: no, i don't think so  
team furry: i've had like two friends over for meals but only one at a time

team stunning girl: oh i'm so sorry chat  
team stunning girl: i would wait until the end of time for an identity reveal and actually deck your father

team leader: ly2 chat

team furry: :) 

team leader: platonically ofc

team furry: :(

team leader: but maybe :eyes:

team furry: :eyes:

team trixxster: pda gross

team cool guy: love you too babe

team trixxster: get your pda away from me <3

team cool guy: <3

team stunning girl: i feel so single

team leader: anyway  
team leader: since we're in an agreement that we'll deck chat's father  
team leader: when we defeat hawkmoth we'll have an identity reveal for that reason

team cool guy: i love how lb says when, not if

team trixxster: the confidence

team furry: with a @team leader such as my lady we'll surely win

team leader: awww thanks guys

3:17

team leader: wait would they get it on camera or not

team trixxster: why are you still awake

DM's- Ladybug and Rena Rouge

Rena Rouge: yeah and it would seem Suspisisicous if it's the biggest battle and alya doesn't show up  
Rena Rouge: to be fair literally NO ONE in paris apart from you, cn, hawkmoth, and mayura learned about the battle of the miraculous

Ladybug: oh yeah  
Ladybug: also Suspisisicous  
Ladybug: maybe a small thing with your flute?  
Ladybug: because my yoyo can take some pictures

Rena Rouge: fair  
Rena Rouge: anyway why did you give our miraculous back to us  
Rena Rouge: miraculous? miraculouses? miraculi? i honestly dont know

Ladybug: i think it's just miraculous  
Ladybug: yeah so Tikki said something like redesigning an old costume into a new one so it wouldn't look the same? and it just clicked  
Ladybug: so I tried to go back to master fu but then i realized that i'm the guardian now lmao

Rena Rouge: oh yeah i don't think hawkmoth won't recognize  
Rena Rouge: like switch the designs up, maybe even the hair and eyes  
Rena Rouge: but Chlorine?  
Rena Rouge: Chloe* autocorrect dammit

Ladybug: chlorine  
Ladybug: to be fair it's been a few months since miracle queen  
Ladybug: she's changed  
Rena Rouge: oh yeah  
Rena Rouge: since after a few weeks that happened i think it sunk into her what's happened and now she feels really guilty and that's why she eagerly took on your mission for her  
Rena Rouge: rena this is not the time to psychoanalyze your teammate

Ladybug: speaking of "rena" what would your new name be  
Ladybug: we can't use it again cause yknow hawkmoth will be onto u

Rena Rouge: wait let me search some cool fox names on google  
Rena Rouge: maybe i'll get back to you in the morning it's almost 4  
Rena Rouge: gn ladybug!

Ladybug: goodnight alya! :)

Rena Rouge: sus


	2. normal day in class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaa i finally updated. also its kinna like a filler thing oh no. working on the next one.

Server name: weird akuma class (+LB and CN?) 

#general-chat

9:27 pm (simultaneously as last chapter) 

Alya: this server is dead  
Alya: i'm reviving it, i love admin privileges  
Alya: @everyone

Marinette (Ladybug?): ugh alya why hath thou awaken thee

Alya: shut up girl ik you were working on some kind of design earlier  
Alya: and you've literally been online since like 6 or something

Adrien (Chat Noir?): hi alya and mari!

Alya: hi adrien  
Alya: let's wait for the others to pop up

Max: Hello, Alya.

Alix: shut with the correct capitalization

Max: Professionalism, Alix. 

Alix: max no

Kim: max yes  
Kim: someone's gotta increase the iq average here

Alix: that you brought down

Kim: fair

Chloe: hey adrien's got pretty high grades y'know

Max: You aren't calling Adrien "Adrikins“? I have calculated that before and that is a pretty rare occurrence. 

Chloe: i have reasons

Nino: plus my dude's been making googly eyes at mari since ny

Adrien (Chat Noir?): hey -//v//-

Alya: what even is that emoticon

Nino: you know it's true

Adrien: hey she's… a friend like herself? i don't know what my catchphrase is, i had character development since like season 3

Nino: that character development is you realizing your feelings for mari

Alix: hey

Marinette (Ladybug?); guys???? we're in general????  
Marinette (Ladybug?): also i definitely do Not have feelings for adrien Anymore

Alya: if you hit me with that "boo hoo adriens just a friend" again i swear-  
Alya: after you did a kwami swap now you got a personality swap?  
Alya: wait what 

Alix: guyyyysss  
Alix: and did the author forget about us

Max: Yes. Yes they have. 

Alya: what  
Alya: also mari if your nickname checks out remember that adrien's head over heels for you

Marinette (Ladybug?): aight imma head out

Alya: come back here girl  
Alya: @Marinette (Ladybug?)

Chloe: i claim myself as ladybug's no 1 fan

Adrien (Chat Noir?): i have one of the biggest lb collections

Marinette (Ladybug?): wait what

Chloe: i have that and an expensive costume with accessories

Adrien: fair

Marinette (Ladybug?): …

Alix: wack

Alya: girl i thought u was making smthn? 

Alix: okayyy  
Alix: did we literally not notice adrien and alya said some pretty weird things there

Max: No. 

Kim: no we didn't

Alix: whe're the others anyway

Kim: what the holy [REDACTED] is whe're

Max: What have you done

Chloe: max forgot the sentence end thingy whatchamacallit

Max: Oh no, I have. 

Alix: guys

Chloe: déjà vu

Sabrina: what's this  
Sabrina: oh yeah  
Sabrina: sorry i've been gone i was doing something

Alix: and one. Showed up  
Alix: welcome to the underdeveloped dumpster  
Alix: i see the potential if everyone was here  
Alix: @Alya give me admin coward

Alya: ok ok

Kim: oh no

Alix: hey @eveyone

Chloe: eveyone?

Kim: eveyone....

Max: Eveyone

Alix: damn it  
Alix: @everyone

Rose: goddamnit what was that to the person who keeps pinging me do not interrupt my date i hope you rot

Juleka: rose no

Rose: yes  
Rose: oh wait it's alix  
Rose: hi Alix! :)

Alix: what the fuck was that

Juleka: oh i forgot you haven't seen rose do that before  
Juleka: f i guess  
Juleka: it sucks being on the receiving side of this

Kim: i was the first one to do that  
Kim: who said "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" because i totally agree with him

Alix: him?

Kim: well duh how did he find out then

Chloe: that's smart  
Chloe: you should definitely follow that a lot

Kim: who says i don't

Max: As he said one time, he "respects wamen"

Chloe: good

12:27

Sabrina: do we not talk about why Adrien and Marinette's nicknames are like that

Alya: can you stay awake for a few hours

Sabrina: *reluctantly* yes

Max: Be prepared for a whole lot of theories.

Alya: ,ax why are you still awake

Max: I am doing some private work.

Sabrina: alya? u there?

Alya: hold on

2:43

Sabrina: you were right max

6:07

Mylene: Good morning!

Ivan: it,s too early pls get back to sleep

Mylene: *Good morning to u 2

Ivan: heh…. ttyl going back to sleep

Max: Good morning, Mylene, Ivan.

Alix: i'm not active :) 

Max: Good morning to you too, Alix. I had not notcied.

Kim: and he makes a typo  
Kim: bro did you not sleep

Max: Affirmative. 

Alix: dude you gotta sleep  
Alix: wait nath has been online since like 4 is he okay  
Alix: @Nathaniel dude 

Nathaniel: no

Alix: mood

Alya: why tf are y'all up rn my phone is shaking class is in like

Nino: like

Alya: 2 hours  
Alya: babe not you too

Alix: pda gross 

Nino: déjà vu

Alya: go back to sleep what the heck  
Alya: mendeleiev's got a test laterrr

Kim: fuck

Alix: mmmm swear words

Kim: but you always swear in DMs???? and earlier???

Alix: our bet? 

Kim: wait was it yesterday or earlier  
Kim: time is an illusion

Alix: it's yesterday  
Alix: now stfu before you start speaking archaic

Kim: k fine fine

10:28

Marinette (Ladybug?): why do you all like you've been chased by akumas ten times across the city  
Marinette (Ladybug?): uhhh did y'all even sleep

Alya: you're one to speak  
Alya: also y'all 

Alix: they stayed up all night

Max: You were too.

Rose: come to think of it, why isn't Lila here? :thinking:

Kim: because we made this at the start of th e year lmao.

Alix: this is our secret hideout bro

Nathaniel: our secret caveeeee

Marinette (Ladybug?): and y'all act like caevmennnnn

Nino: lmaooo

Rose: i think she should've been here but i cant disagree with you guys

Juleka: yessss… join us the cavemennn

Alix: hold onnn

Alix changed the server name to "the caevmen" 

Max: Why does it have a misspelling? 

Marinette (Ladybug?): alix noooo

Kim: alix yes

Alix: alix yesss

Marinette (Ladybug?): alrighty thennn..

Marinette (Ladybug?) changed their nickname to "Cavedybug". 

Alya: hahdjfdgffg

Kim: lmaooo

Adrien (Chat Noir?): guysss we have Class

Chloe: sunshine capitalized it

Alya: aight hold on

Alya changed Adrien (Chat Noir?)'s nickname to Cave Noir. 

Alix: yeeessss !!!! 

Cavedybug: guyyysssss

Alya: aight aight


End file.
